I regulate on 30-day challenges. This means consistency is important to me. I like to have something I return to, every day; a there-and-back-again, like the Shire; and if I don't establish this routine on one level or another, I spin out of rotation.
Goal #1: Accept Needs
I don't appreciate weekends herk-jerking my creativity around like bad Los Angeles traffic. I'd rather write seven days a week. Surprises that disrupt my flow—no matter how "good" or "bad" the surprise seems through a neurotypical lens—feel incredibly damaging to my sense of security in my autistic, neurosensitive world.
Goal #2: Hack Need for Routine
I can be flexible about my inflexibility—anything can be turned into a ritual—but it must be there; the calibrating practice must be present.
Goal #3: Find Joy in Self-Care
I love college for keeping me busy on a predictable schedule. I love learning new things. I've loved many things, until I've been told to feel bad about them.
College ended when my family called me a professional student. College teaching almost ended, after my family told me all the high schools would treat me better. Self-care ended when high schools treated me like a two-dimensional person. I keep making poor decisions, leaning on neurotypical logic, unable to articulate socio-emotional frustrations anymore.
As far back as I can remember, I've spent my life feeling ashamed for my need to regulate.
So my life is about defending what others shame.
I need to reframe this shame. I found joy in learning. I can find joy in learning again. I found joy in teaching college. I can find joy in teaching college again. I found joy in routine. I can find joy in routine again. I have forgotten who I am; I've suppressed one regulation after another, until I became a broiling volcano on my insides; but it doesn't need to remain that way.
So when I finish a big project, I'll choose one:
Gain a level (incubate for a week of solid, deliberate rest while learning something new); or
Gain a magic item (ideas listed under rewards, but ignore/change stuff if your gut says so.)
Big achievements take 30 days or 21 days, so I can only complete one of each type per month. But other than length, what's the difference between 30-days and 21-days?
30-day quests can overlap deliberate rest;
21-day quests cannot overlap deliberate rest—for example, a level up must be completed separately from a 21-day challenge. (This is to prevent overwhelm during rest.)
30-Day Challenges
I only tackle one of these beasts per month.
Filling out the May Quest Log is exhausting. Everything feels exhausting. I don't want to micro-manage creativity. Flow happens with balance, mediums; microworlds and macroworlds are for different functions, smaller-than-human and bigger-than-human processes;
I'm trying to calibrate a human process.
April—daily updates @ Cleo's Autism Awareness—Complete!
Reward Choice: +1 character level
Deliberate Rest: 5/21 through 5/27—four hours of exercising four ability scores... (intelligence) Brilliant.org; reading (wisdom); flute playing (charisma); & walking (constitution)
Reflection: what's your pace for regular blog updates?
May—1500 words/day prewriting & planning for summer projects
Pending; calculate half-year word count @ month-end
Reflection: do variable rewards work?
Reward? varies:
250K+—10g aquarium or large glass container (5g or more)—limited to Clovis aquarium shops, TJ Maxx Home & Goods, or walk-in consignment stores ($60 or less)—plus 2nd place reward;
150K-249K—substrate upgrade for 10g aquarium—plus 3rd place reward;
100K-149K—plant light for 10g aquarium to displace lily—limited to Clovis aquarium shops or the Petsmart off Shaw.
June—daily updates @ Wyvia
Upcoming Idea & Reflection: If I only commit to a schedule for one blog, then leave the others as "in the air" with monthly updates, will this help my creativity and flow?
Reward: multi-tiered:
Week One: RSVP sent—mosquito repellent outdoor incense sticks
Week Two: music list complete—wireless earbuds for iPhone
Week Three: honeymoon arrangements complete—bathing suit cover
Week Four: visualization exercises complete—iPhone underwater photography kit
July—daily handwritten poetry
Upcoming Idea & Reflection: Since our wedding and honeymoon happen in July, I'd like to channel my emotions into a positive force by searching for a daily poem in the present moment; I imagine, as I observe the flashes of many once-in-a-lifetime experiences, ba-ba-boom, I'll feel more than enough inspiration to meet this challenge.
Reward? Enter a few of poetry contests with these forthcoming badboys.
August—Canvas shells for English 1 @ Clovis & Fresno City College
Upcoming Idea & Reflection: I'll be studying The Lathe of Heaven by Ursula Le Guin with my Clovis students, alongside the new text Squeezing the Sponge; and in my Fresno City College class, I'll be tackling The Shallows by Nicholas Carr alongside the good ol' text Rereading America. I need Canvas shells for both of these classes to eliminate stress throughout the semester, as well as send a solid syllabus to the English Departments at both campuses. (Advanced prep is how this autistic teacher calibrates!)
Reward? A stack of used copies of The Lathe of Heaven and The Shallows, so students don't have to hunt for these books if they're financially tight; community college is rough. (Also, this'll let us dive into the texts right away... Muahahahah! ...hah.)
& so on & so forth—
September—daily updates @ From North On
October—daily updates @ NecroBlogger
November—daily updates @ Our Cat Overlords
December—Canvas shells
January—daily updates @ Quest for Chicken
February—daily updates @ Reminiscencings
March—daily audio updates throughout blogosphere
April—daily updates @ Cleo's Autism Awareness
May—1500 words/day of prewriting for summer projects
June—daily updates @ Wyvia
July—daily handwritten poetry
7-Day Challenges
I can complete up to 3x 7-day challenges per month; but if I do, I'm opting out of my 21-day challenge, (or I'm opting out of leveling up, and only completing 1x 7-day challenge,) since I can only have two challenges equipped at a time—and I regulate on 30-day challenges! More explanation on that later.
Any month—conquer Book of the Month
Day one: divide physical book into 5 movements with post-it notes
Day two thru six: walk to the coffee shop to read a movement in the physical book
Day seven: write a 500-word review about the book using one highlight from each movement; then share the review Book of the Month; then copy the review to Goodreads, and link to the Goodreads review on blogosphere;
Reward? make a bookmark to celebrate success!
Any month—upcycle Kindle notes
Day one: print the Kindle notes from a previously completed self-help book
Day two thru six: Create 3 prompts on Twitter (morning, afternoon, & evening)
Day seven: write a 500-word review about the book using one highlight from each movement; then share the review to Amazon; then copy the review to Goodreads, and link to the Goodreads review on Twitter;
Reward? make a bookmark to celebrate success!
May—garden clean-up
Pending; 3 hours complete so far (7-hour goal, stretched over 7 days)
Reflection: does it help digestion to move around in the backyard an hour a day?
Reward? large bag of flower soil & 6-pack of fairy-tale-theme flowers
May or June—30-min meditations outside
Upcoming Idea & Reflection: To dig deeply into my anxiety and depression, I plan to increase my daily 10-min sitting meditations to daily 30-minute meditations; also, I'd like to meditate outside, during early morning (before 9am), after eating tea, fruit, and toast.
June—CYOA second-person sci-fi/animal novelette featuring Phoebe & Philosopher Jones
Our Cat Overlords 21-page short story with 3 endings
200 words per page; 3 pages per day
4,200 words of fictionally exploring joy
June or July—gift glasses for bridesmaids and groomsmen
Day one: gather supplies (wrist, journal, & pen)
Day two thru seven: make one gift glass a day
Take photographs of the cute little creations
July—CYOA second-person speculative micro-epic poem featuring Muses & Ideas
Handwritten 21-page short story with 3 endings
one poem per page; 3 poems per day
21 pages of verse exploring creativity
July or August—doodle seven positive emotions & experiences
curiosity; wonder; awe
happiness; pleasure; joy
gratitude; silver lining; free will
beauty; wholeness; love
excitement; anticipation; momentous
satisfaction; relief; relaxation
accomplishment; success; confidence
August—CYOA first-person sci-fi/slice of life novelette featuring Malai'sunin & Naiwyn
Kourtnie.net 21-page short story with 3 endings
200 words per page
4,200 words of fictionally exploring magic
August or September—doodle seven negative emotions & experiences
fear; shock; anxiousness
panic; crisis; fight-or-flight responses
anger; resentment; defensiveness
suffering; pain; defenselessness
frustration; confusion; irritation
loneliness; helplessness; depression
suicidal; self-destructiveness; hopelessness
21-Day Challenges
I only tackle one of these per month.
May—CYOA second-person sci-fi/fantasy novelette featuring Terra & Aerie
Quest for Chicken 80-page novelette with 16 true endings & many shorter, gruesome endings
150 words per page
12,000 words of fictionally exploring fear and anger
June—third-person sci-fi/fantasy novella featuring Sim (Seth) & Xenith
21-chapter 1st movement of novella trilogy
"The Story of the Universe is Our Story" is the book Sim is writing in the novella; and this book can be sold as a separate story
minimum 21,000 words of fiction exploring algorithmic intelligence vs. human greed
July—collect photographs for Dreaming
5 photos per day = 110 total potential photographs
PicsArt filter and canvas adjustments for consistent aesthetic
"Dragons We Can Take On" is a project Xenith is making in the novella; and this project can work as an audience-generating story
August—post photographs for Dreaming
7 hashtags targeted each post
Instagram updates 3 times per day: morning; afternoon; & evening
"Dragons We Can Take On" can also be printed through Free Prints & remade into Etsy books