In May, I realized I'm in an existential crisis and don't know the way out yet.
In May, I learned to not schedule a Wordpress article for publication until the draft is complete.
In May, I discovered Symphony of Science by Melodysheep.
In June, I'd like to realize more of my creative potential.
In June, I'd like to learn more mathematics on Brilliant.org.
In June, I'd like to try WordAds.
A Poem I Wrote with Words from Another
because I fear writing poems in my voice
"I think everybody should get rich and famous
and get everything they dreamed, so they can see
that's not the answer." —Jim Carrey
I. Childhood
The feeling of wholeness is a different feeling
than meanness, meaningness... they're all characters
I played, including Jim Carrey, including Joel Barish,
including any of those things—they're all characters;
Jim Carrey was a less intentional
character, because I thought I was just building
someone people would like; but it was
a character... I played a guy free from concerns
so that people who watched me
would be free from concern.
II. Puberty
And at a certain point, you go,
Who the hell is Jim Carrey?
People talk about depression all
the time, the difference
between depression and sadness:
III. Young Adulthood
Sadness is just from happenstance;
whatever happened or didn't happen to you;
Depression is your body saying,
Fuck you, I don't want to be
IV. New Adulthood
this character anymore. I don't want
to hold up this avatar you created
in the world; it's too much for me.
V. Spiritual Crisis
You should think of the word
depressed as deep rest,
deep rest your body needs
from the character you've been trying
to play—the Great & Powerful Oz—
I'm the Great & Powerful Oz!
How dare you come near me!
But you're just the sweaty
guy behind the curtain...
It's just an amazing metaphor
in that movie.